(no subject)

[rabastanlestrange]

I am not alone
Not beaten down just yet
I am not afraid
Of the voices in my head
Down the darkest road
Something follows me
I am not alone
Cause misery loves my company


Character
Name: Wren Anson Pangburn
Date of Birth/Age: 19//December 11, 1993
PB: Sean O'Pry
Year: undergrad/sophomore
Major: Art
Minor: Art history
Activities: Boxing club
Status: Alpha
Owns/Owned: none yet
Appearance:

Wren is 5'11 with a thin build but an athletic cut, which can slip easily when he decides he doesn't want to go to the gym for a few months, leaving him as just thin. He has thick black hair and pale skin with light blue sleepy eyes settled on a rather unconventionally handsome face.

He dresses in whatever's clean for the most part, preferring blacks, dark blues and grays to any of the other colors on the color wheel, and most of the time, no matter what time of the year it is, he can always be found wearing one of about a dozen pairs of flip-flops that he owns in a vast array of colors.
Personality:

Wren has never been properly diagnosed with any mental disorder, but if someone were to get a hold of him and take a good look inside his head he would likely be diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder with Sociopathic traits. He doesn't like who he is or who he's become, but he doesn't try to fight it and is very capable of hiding it. His own parents have no idea of the troublesome things he'd done over the last few years of his life. They sense that he is a little bit down and acting strangely, but the depression that leaves him feeling sad and empty is only a small part of what makes up Wren.

He is moody, and can go from zero to pissed off in two seconds flat on any given day under the right circumstances. And it doesn't take much of anything to set him off, or really, anything at all. He can be happy and laughing one minute and threatening or glaring at you the next. And he can be very, very descriptive with his threats, and often revels in describing what's in his head to someone else just to see the shocked look on their face. He's never gone so far as to act on any of his more violent impulses, and can in fact control them, but he does draw them out, or finds someone that can hurt him the way he needs to be hurt to make the thoughts go away. Once it's passed, he'll have a normal couple of days, or even a full normal week or two until he's set off again.

When he's 'normal' he's relatively friendly, though not very outgoing but he doesn't mind having people around. He can be funny or sarcastic, even witty from time to time, but he doesn't show that side of himself as often as his parents would like, as he claims the effort to keep it up 'hurts his head'. The only person that he seems to get along with and love without fail is his brother, Raven, and that relationship can be said to be his saving grace. They don't always agree, but Wren can easily be calmed and put into a more stable mood by his brother.

He was abused when he was a child, and the abuse lasted until he was a bit older. It was only when he turned the tables and became the aggressor that he finally felt powerful, like he didn't have to take what was being dished out to him anymore without laying out consequences for the behavior. But he'd endured the abuse for so long that he now feels like he likes it, and that he needs it, as it tends to make him feel better about himself when he's hurt, like he has a reason for everything else he does. He also has a desire to control everything and everyone around him, but he realizes he can't always do that, so the smaller things that are controllable, like what he's going to wear, how much he's going to eat or not eat, whether he's going to walk or run or spin in circles, are what he focuses on in those moments.

Wren can imitate the actions and emotions of people around him perfectly. Typically he doesn't care about very many people (but there are some), but if a situation arises where it's expected that people are supposed to feel some sort of empathy, he'll mimic what someone else does or says, and he's smart enough by now to know how to pass it off as his own. He can also, when he's in a curious mood, a throwback from his childhood, ask a billion questions about the most inane things. It can be annoying, but he doesn't really see that, he just sees it as having his curiosity sated. He's also rather indulgent when people question him, and he'll answer any question put to him, whether it's the truth or a lie is to be determined.

Sometimes he likes to try to talk people into things or get under their skin to see how far he can get. Sex isn't always his main objective, and a good part of the time he's looking for someone to hit him, and he thrives on being a dick to people just to get that knee jerk reaction. He'd thank you for it if he stopped and thought about it and weren't busy hitting back. He's rather cruel when he feels like it, and at times he enjoys making people feel as bad as he does most of the time.

He's also blind to gender and physical appearances. He does see them and can recognize male and female, ugly and beautiful, but he doesn't care to discriminate or separate. People are people, and if you have what he wants, he's going to be your friend (or enemy) and tell you what you want to hear until he gets it.



Bio/15 Facts:

Wren is the fourth child of Warren and Isabelle Pangburn, young doting parents who, at relatively young ages, had hopes of having an even larger family than the one they were already building. He was born closely on the heels of his brother and closest confidante, Raven, who is only thirteen months older. The Pangburns of Greenwich, Ct. were a family who was wealthy due to a combination of old family money and some amazing investments in stocks made by Wren's grandfather in the early 1980's which gave the family a sense of financial security that would see them through any national hard time with great ease.

As such, the Pangburns were overly indulgent with their children: their toys and clothes were the newest and best that money could buy, they saw nearly every foreign country on the map before they were twelve, they were educated at the finest schools; Brunswick School for the boys and Greenwich Academy for their daughter. There are summer homes and homes to winter in scattered across four states and two different countries. They were also allowed to do, say, watch and listen to everything they pleased. Though Warren and Isabelle were doting and indulgent, they were often lax in their parenting, and it wasn't strange to walk into their home and find any one of the children running through the house at midnight, or watching a gore fest of zombie movies or made for adult eyes only movies on the weekends.

Though all of the children were spoiled and given everything they could ever want, it was Wren who had ensconced himself firmly in the deepest parts of his parents hearts. He was their baby, the youngest, and despite years and years of continuous trying, he was to be the last child born to them. The older children got a great deal of attention, but Wren was the one constantly in the company of his parents, and because of that, did not form a very strong bond with his older siblings until later in his life and even then it was only Raven with whom he bonded.

Despite the attention given to him and all the love a child could handle, Wren was quiet and a bit standoffish, even as a child. He didn't have a problem making friends, and had a very charming if somewhat boisterous personality when he was around a crowd of people, but when he was at home with the people who knew him best, he was a shadow of the boy he presented in public, and often spent most of his time at home in his room drawing. He showed a real talent for art very early on, though some of the things he chose to draw often caused his mother to balk; the roadkill they'd passed on a walk, bloody battles from the video games his brother and sister played. He would often repeat lines from the horror movies he would watch as he got older, just randomly at breakfast, or to break the silence of his father's study, and it became clear that he had a fascination with the morbid side of life, though nothing was thought of it. He was young. He was friendly and otherwise sweet. Things like that were phases, and surely he would outgrow it.

And he may very well have. However, his eldest brother Riley encouraged his obsession. All the years of deep-seated and childish jealousy at the favoritism his parents showed to his youngest sibling came rising violently to the surface, and it was clear that Riley despised his brother. Being eight years older it amused fifteen year old Riley to see his seven year old brother shock their parents into silence with a stream of obscenities, or a voiced desire to see a live autopsy performed as he had seen on television. He would also encourage him to hurt himself, and as they got older, Riley began hurting Wren himself. It started off with small things; having him jump from the top step to the bottom with no padding, or ride his bike off of the patio roof, but what may have been seen as child's play actively progressed into Riley pushing Wren down stairs and eventually threatening him into using sharp tools (knives, razors, anything that would cut) on himself. But it wasn't until their sister Lauren, by then fifteen, got involved that Wren's life took a turn for the worst.

A secret amongst the two oldest siblings involved the pair being involved in a sexual relationship since they were nine (Lauren) and eleven (Riley) after having watched a movie they'd found in their father's locked desk drawer and deciding to try what they saw on the television. They mostly ignored Raven, who didn't seem to be as weak as they saw Wren as being, when the boy was nine, the same age Lauren had been when she'd taken up with Riley, they decided that it was time to induct him into their activities. That, too, started off slowly, but progressed into things that would make Wren hide from them when he could. Of course hiding would only make them mad, and afterwards the things they did to him and had him do involved more physical abuse or the use of objects on him for their own gratification. Lauren and Riley made sure never to injure him too badly, and to only leave any wounds in places that their parents would never think to look. Wren was trapped, being forced to have sex with his brother and let his sister do things to him that he could barely even comprehend. He was warned that if he ever spoke a word of it to their parents that they would smother him with a pillow, and so he was silent and terrified, but outwardly everything seemed normal between them all. Wren was already withdrawn and solitary, so nothing was thought of him becoming more so.

His grades slipped because he wasn't sleeping or studying or doing anything he was supposed to do in school or even socially. His parents thought it was simply a 'teenage thing' and brought in a tutor to help him, and sensing that more was expected from him, though they had never said, Wren tried to keep up, and studied harder to pick his grades back up only to please his parents. Things continued like that for years, and Wren went from a sullen but curious child to one who was mean for the hell of it and had no problem bullying his siblings, who, at times, were actually afraid of him. After years of abuse at their hands, Wren finally decided to participate with them willingly, and at times to even initiate things with either or both of them. But on his own terms. He was soon the one threatening them, and though they were older than he was, the coldness of his demeanor when he was with them was terrifying, and they actually believed he could and would carry out the threats he issued. Finally having the upper hand, Wren felt better, and began to perform better and could even be friendly and polite when it was called for. After a while Riley moved away from home to marry, and Lauren decided to move into the dorms of her college, whether it was because of Wren, he never knew, but he was glad to see the backside of them both.

Raven was the only sibling who wasn't afraid of Wren, the only one who had ever seemed to truly care about him, and the only one that Wren felt like he could talk to or just be with without having to constantly be on his guard. They were friends as much as they were brothers, and though Wren never disclosed in full what went on between him and their siblings, there wasn't much else he didn't know. He was protective of Raven, sometimes overly so, but very dependent on him. And when it came time for his brother to go off to college in California, Wren began to act out. Not at home, of course, his parents were still blissfully unaware of any problems he had, and certainly not in school - he knew how to hide his disposition and how not to make any waves that would get him in trouble - but rather he found several toys as he called them, in the form of people, boys and girls, who showed any social interest in him at all. At sixteen he would go out on weekends to fetish clubs armed with a fake I.D., and pick up on people whose interests reflected his own, but that was never enough. Not until he found someone who was willing to play out his fantasies - the things that had already happened to him - and the man, someone older, was more violent with him than Riley and Lauren had ever been. And it was satisfying. The pain inflicted on him, and the pain he was able to inflict on others was something gratifying, something he found he loved, and the more he got of it, the more normal and better he felt.

He did choose the wrong boy to play with once, hurting him so badly that he almost paid dearly for it when the fifteen year old told his parents and pointed Wren out. Of course, it was swept under the rug, and the boys family was paid a large sum of money to keep quiet though now Wren was firmly on his parents radar. He passed it off as a one time thing, though they weren't sure they believed him and to be on the safe side sent him to therapy. He only went a few times and didn't say much, and soon began skipping the sessions to indulge in the things he found more interesting. When it came time for college, Wren was accepted at several universities, though his parents didn't want him to leave the state as they wanted to keep an eye on him. When he decided he wanted to join Raven at Berkley in California, they put their feet down and refused to pay for it. He talked things through with Raven, and decided to at least attempt to pretend to respect his parents wishes, but found that he really didn't give a damn what they thought. He was going to do what pleased him, because that was all that mattered to him.

He was determined now to get out and away from them and their constant hovering and questioning of every move he made and he searched endlessly for a school that would offer him a scholarship for anything. His good grades weren't good enough in most places, all of the art scholarships had been distributed for the year in others. In the end, much to his relief, there was one place willing to not only take him, but to give him a way to pay for it all himself. Falls Church University, in Falls Church Virgina. He was of age by then, and signed up, finding the little clauses in his contract only made the school that much more attractive to him. He started his first year as a zeta majoring in Art, but when his parents saw that he was putting in effort and doing much better scholastically than he had done in years, they decided to once again stand behind him and pay for his schooling for him so he didn't have to 'work around campus' the way he claimed he'd done the prior year. He'll start his second year as an Alpha.